About Me: I've been knitting since I got bored one summer in college and made a raglan sleeved rag-wool sweater that still almost fits. My favorite things to knit are Scandanavian colorwork and lace. I don't like to knit socks or sleeves. Some years ago, I completed the Level 1 Master Course with The Knitting Guild of America. That's as far as I got, but I did learn a lot and I recommend it highly.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Meanwhile, that endless blue cashmere that I bought at Loopy in Chicago the summer of 2009 has finally transformed itself not into a lace scarf, because the pattern just got too fine and crazy, but a nice wide shawl. I just can't stop touching it, which does make the knitting go slower.
I ended up just knitting 100 stitches in garter stitch.
Plain as plain can be. But the wool is so fine that it's airy and open and bubbly. I will finish it up in a few more rows today.
Then after I drive back to Mizzou with the Estrogirlz for a few days of roller-derby parenting and work, I will find some really awesome trim yarn and crochet the edges. Maybe a nice mint green ribbon, or silver. Who knows. Something smooth and silky.
Knitting is great for when you are stewing about something. Like teenage girls. Who make you wait for them while they are brushing their hair for the nth time. Or make you wait for them because now they're not coming with friend A, but with friend B and C, and now departure isn't at 4:00 but 5:00 and did I mention we have to pick up friend D first, and my bag is at friend A's house so can we go there first? I love the concept of parenting but the actual practice of it makes me want to grind my teeth. Really? as if I don't actually have things to get back to, people to see, money to earn and make. Really? as if I should just sit here and. . . and. . . and. . .get the knitting done that I have complained about not having enough time to just sit and do.
Knitting is great for making the timing right on this, that, and the other thing. This scarf was not timed right earlier, when I had to pay so much attention to the pattern and had to rip it out twice. The timing has been much better in the last few months, when I come up to this ski town on the weekends and run Purl to her social events and then come back to my host house and. . . knit because I didn't make social plans of my own, and didn't want to, because I really wanted to spend my time catching up on hulu shows and knitting.
So now I have that thing finished - and I get a trip to the store to pick out trim. Yea!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Like yesterday, when we made tentative plans for this morning and then you didn't call me at all this morning to confirm or even communicate "I'm on my way." And truthfully, because I was running a little late, I was relieved that you didn't call and I could assume that you weren't really holding your breath until I arrived with this awesome coffeecake I made. But really? When I finally did call you to see if we could still do the (also previously planned) dinner, you made it sound like I was the one who was supposed to have called you. And man, I've been there already. That whole thing where if I really want to see you then I have to call, and that you will call me after a few days to see if I've fallen behind the sofa and can't get up, but you won't call me to say, "hey, are we still on for coffee?" Because a girl I was supposed to meet for coffee would totally call if she didn't get a call first, and we'd both act like there was a mutual responsibility to communicate. And I was trying to give you your damn space because you're always so busy. I'm not sure if I should use a euphemism here. I'd like to put it down to simple male-female dis-communication, but I suspect you might be a. . .
Now the other guy, he showed up for beers on time yesterday, but I had to listen to a lengthy story about a crazy plaintiff, representing herself, of course, who made a fool of herself at a deposition by accusing the opposing counsel of deliberately clearing his throat and rolling his eyes in order to distract her. Despite what I believe to be this mostly true story, I suspect my friend falls into the category of -- loopholes -- who really enjoy it when otherwise competent professional women self-destruct; it reassures their little insecure selves that women in general are not a threat because they're either not as smart or as awesome as men are, or they're crazy.
Now I know that lawyers are supposed to be ambitious and tough and aggressive, and I intend to be all of those things, but I was really hoping that in this phase of my career I wouldn't have to be such a -- Loophole.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Let's hope this is one of the last hoops I will have to jump through for a while. It's as if I've been in this transition for such a long time. People say, "well, you just have to get through it" without realizing how long the "through" can take. Sometimes jumping over the threshold is all it takes, but sometimes it takes holding your breath and diving into a long, dark, underwater tunnel. And so I was thinking last night, shouting at my cat actually, that I really don't like having to go through this just to get to someplace else. Never have. Want to just be on the other side already. And really, don't really want to have to be on the other side, or even on my way there. I want to be back on the starting side -- back before I had to make my own decisions, back when things that didn't go well were someone else's fault, and not mine. Yes, I get a feeling of personal accomplishment that no one can take away from me by being here and doing this. But there's still that lingering feeling, that line from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, where the one guy (Guildenstern) says to the other (Rosencrantz), "There must have been a moment at the beginning, where we could have said no. Somehow we missed it. Well, we'll know better next time."