About Me: I've been knitting since I got bored one summer in college and made a raglan sleeved rag-wool sweater that still almost fits. My favorite things to knit are Scandanavian colorwork and lace. I don't like to knit socks or sleeves. Some years ago, I completed the Level 1 Master Course with The Knitting Guild of America. That's as far as I got, but I did learn a lot and I recommend it highly.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
This blog was originally posted on Vox starting in 2007, when I made a career U-turn and entered law school at the age of *cough*. It was a life U-turn too, maybe more like a veering off a cliff into the ravine below. Easy to guess what I mean -- men who get divorced move into a lake house, women who get divorced get an advanced degree. I got divorced after fifteen years of marriage, a child, a mortgage, a move to the hinterlands that supported his career and hamstrung mine. Typical break-up tale.
Now I am post-school, and have found that this phase is even more terrifying. When I was in school, all I had to do was finish. Seemed like a lot bigger challenge at the time. But now I actually have to meet my expenses on the money I make. I estimated and budgeted and planned, but somehow the reality is so so much worse than I expected. On Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, when you're just supposed to sit around and rub your belly, I got an e-mail from the feds wanting to know where their money was. They seem to think that I can live on the ketchup packets from fast-food joints after paying them and my rent. For the rest of the weekend I only slept long enough to wake up drenched in sweat and anxiety.
Fibonacci numbers - the reason for the title. It's a lame metaphor for, well, the sequence of life. Just one thing after another, each challenge impressively greater than the one before. First the engine belt, then the chip in the windshield, then the snow tires, then the feds. Knitters often get excited about Fibonacci numbers: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21. . . because a sweater or scarf knit in a Fibonacci rib (k1, p1, k2, p2, k3, p3 for as long as you want, then repeat) looks pretty cool and has a certain geeky appeal to those who would care. You can also play around with colorwork or mosaic knit on the same concept. It's not an obvious pattern, so no one will know except you and dorks like you.
Now back to the life metaphor. I got up early and freaked out in my journal. That's a good thing, because it's made this post slightly more coherent. My revelations: first, the pattern is predictable, even though it gives me panic attacks. Second - it's never going to get stable, is it? I think the reason is that I can't see that my ability to handle the challenges is growing at the same rate as the challenges. But perhaps a dork can see it.
That's as far as I can get with this without being late for work. Hope you find the blog useful and amusing. I will repost my old entries, as I thought they were quite genius. If you are a knitter, or if you are a lawyer, and especially if you are a lawyer who is a knitter, please keep reading.